Warmth
by flamefairyx777
Summary: What they had was dangerous, but also special. He didn't want to lose her warmth. My take of the "Rey and Ben knew each other training under Luke" theory. Reylo but also not. Interpret it how you like.


**I know everyone would prefer if I did a NaLu fanfic, I totally get it. I'm in that head space where I'm drifting in and out of that fandom. I still like NaLu, but it's complicated. I'm still deciding if I want to finish Dodging Bullets or if I should discontinue it. It all kinda depends.**

 **Anyway, what i have here is a Star Wars fanfic for Kylo Ren/Ben Solo and Rey. It's sort of a romance but not quite because you know there is like a ten year age gap between Ben and Rey ( Before you say that's gross, that's the same age gap between Han and Leia and everyone loves them). I've seen the newest movie so I know what happens but I thought the theory where they knew each other training under Luke was a cool idea. So I wrote this "little" story going into that idea. If you would rather read NaLu then I have plenty of other stories for you. If the very thought of ReyLo bothers you then don't read it. Be courteous, be respectful, and enjoy!**

It was the sound of a ship that forced him from slumber. The young man grumbled loudly into his pillow, shoving his face further into its soft embrace. This did very little in helping him block out the sound of the ships roaring engine.

He sighed in defeat, slowly lifting himself into a sitting position on his bed. Ben Solo never had an issue waking up early. After several years of training to be a Jedi under his Uncle Luke he was rather used to being summoned in the early hours to exercise or meditate, but as of late, sleeping had been a luxury to Ben that he no longer possessed.

The voice in his head was getting worse. For years it whispered in the back of his mind, usually being easy enough to brush away. As he grew older however the voice began to grow, becoming harder and harder to ignore. It plagued him as he slept, pulling him into dark places he didn't want to be a part of. He knew he should tell his Uncle about these strange and uncomfortable happenings, but couldn't bring himself to do it. Ben already stood out among the other Padawan's. His appearance was strange with his long nose and big ears that hadn't fit in yet with his body. His power in the force was greater than the others as well and that earned him a lot of criticism from the Padawan's who envied him. It also didn't help that his Uncle was their master, earning him certain privileges that they didn't have. Ben was already insecure, the last thing he needed was everyone finding out his mind was filled with… darker things.

Ben had hope that whatever was plaguing his mind would dwindle with time. He would grow stronger, become a full Jedi, and banish his demons on his own. In the meantime, he would wait, and grow stronger with the force like his Uncle wanted.

The engines bellowed loudly before silencing all together, indicating that the ship had successfully landed. Now that it was quiet again and Ben was wide awake, it occurred to him how odd it was that a ship had arrived so early in the morning. It wasn't entirely uncommon for a ship to arrive on their tiny, secluded planet that Uncle Luke had chosen to rebuild the Jedi Order. Supplies needed to come in every couple of weeks, but Ben had studied the arrival schedules and was positive that no ships were supposed to dock for another week at the most. There was also the possibility that it wasn't a supply run and someone just needed to see Luke.

A thought flew through Ben's mind but he quickly pushed it away. If his parents, either of them, were coming to visit, Luke would have told him. In any case, both Han and Leia were too busy to take care of their only child, which was why they left him with his powerful uncle in the first place. He wouldn't get his hopes up on something so unlikely, even if it made his heart hurt a bit.

With that idea crossed out, Ben could not discern why a ship would appear so unexpectedly. Hauling himself from his bed, he strolled to the window of his small quarters. He could see the landing pad not far from the temple. The ship itself was small and didn't require a large crew to operate it, therefore confirming that they weren't dropping off supplies. Curiosity getting the better of him, Ben pulled on his boots and decided to see what was going on.

He strolled up the hill to where the landing pad was located. The engine began to rumble again before roaring to life. He watched as it slowly lifted itself off the ground before taking off into the sky. Ben continued on his march up the hill until he reached the pad where he saw his Uncle Luke. His back was facing towards be and he was hunched over. Ben saw several small boxes beside him. He wondered if those were what the ship had left behind. As he drew closer to his Uncle he started to feel something different in the Force. He could feel his Uncle's energy, but at the same time he felt something new.

It felt strange to him. He was familiar with Force signatures but this was unique, not like his Uncle or the other Padawan's. As he studied it he felt an overpowering sense of warmth. When he probed at it, it responded in a similar manner, probing back at him as well. The warmth spread throughout him like a sudden wave, caressing his very being in an unfamiliar, unrestrained way. The action was sudden and he was unprepared for it, but it left a feeling of calm over him, almost in an innocent manner. It didn't bother him like he thought it would.

His Uncle must have noticed his own Force signature as he rose and turned around to face him, smiling brightly.

"Ben, you're awake. Did the ship wake you up?"

Ben was still entranced by the strange new energy that he hadn't been paying attention to his uncle. Luke coughed loudly, pulling Ben out of his train of thought.

"Oh, yes!" Ben said awkwardly, "the ship woke me. Why was it here anyway? I thought our next drop-off wasn't until next week."

Luke nodded, smiling, "You aren't wrong, however that ship wasn't here to drop-off food and other supplies. It had a far more precious cargo." Ben's brow creased in confusion. He then assumed he was referring to the strange presence in the Force that he had detected. He started searching for it again and found that it was in fact very close to Luke. Luke smiled a bit, realizing what it was his nephew was trying to do. With gentle grace, Luke stepped to the side and Ben's eyes widened.

Standing just behind Luke was a small child. A little girl. Her brown hair was pulled back into three tight buns leaving several strands falling from her head. She was rather small, but she didn't appear to be any younger than seven or eight. Her big brown eyes flicked up to Ben's before darting to the floor. She shifted back behind Luke, quickly grabbing hold of his cloak. Her pupils shifted back up to Ben's nervously. They stared at each other for what felt like hours, neither one brave enough to look away. Ben reached out again for the presence in the Force. For several moments nothing happened until he felt a light brush against his signature, one that was warm and pleasant.

She was the force signature he was feeling.

"Ben, I would like to introduce you to Rey," said Luke, interrupting their stare off. Ben looked up at his Uncle and back down at the girl. Luke knelt down to the girl's level. Placing a hand on her shoulder he turned up to Ben, "Rey, this is Ben. He is my nephew. His mother is my sister."

Rey said nothing.

"Why is she here?" Ben asked. Luke gave him a questioning glance.

"What do you mean? She's here to become a Jedi."

"But she's too young," Ben said accusingly. The Padawan's his uncle had chosen were all at least ten years of age. Ben was disturbed by the fact that his uncle took a child away from her family at such a young age. He didn't know why it bothered him. He didn't know anything about her other than her name. He felt a nudge against his mind. He glanced down at the girl who was staring at him with her large brown eyes. She poked again, testing this new sensation Ben had helped her discover.

"Force sensitive children used to be taken shortly after birth back in the days of the Old Republic," Luke said, as if it justified his actions, "You have already felt her force signature, have you not? The Force is strong with her and it would be foolish not to help her understand and control it."

"Uncle Luke I don't think this is a good idea," muttered Ben, "the others won't care if she is strong with the Force. She won't fit in around here." His statement was unconvincing, even to him. In truth, he was rather startled by the amount of energy he was picking up from her. He had never felt a signature quite like hers before.

Luke shook his head, "Don't be ridiculous Ben. Rey has every right to be here as you do. She'll make a fine Jedi one day and I expect you and everyone else to treat her accordingly." Luke turned his attention back to the small child, she gazed up at him, still holding his cloak firmly in her grasp, "Let's see if we can find you some suitable quarters." Rey said nothing as Luke glanced back at his nephew, "Ben, if you could, do you mind picking up Rey's things and carrying them to where she'll be sleeping."

Ben said nothing as Luke took Rey's hand and started down the hillside toward the Padawan quarters. He didn't want to argue with his uncle. In the end Luke's word was always final. Sighing, Ben rubbed a hand through his dark hair. Begrudgingly, he walked up to the boxes that Luke had been standing by before, leaning down to pick up the first one.

Suddenly, he felt a familiar brush against his mind and froze. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Luke and Rey descend down the hill. Rey was glancing at him over her shoulder. They held each other's gaze for a moment before Rey turned around, her presence retreating from Ben's mind. Ben felt a small shiver run through him. Why, he did not know.

And that scared him.

* * *

For the most part Ben simply ignored the new Padawan. About two months had passed since the new addition to Luke's school arrived. He had yet to hear her speak but Luke assured him that she wasn't mute, just shy. He honestly saw very little of her day after day. He would see her sitting off to the side when Luke would be teaching and at meals, but other than that he never saw her and didn't bother searching her out. It wasn't for any special reason other than he was simply much older than her. He didn't bother messing around with the younger children who were too naïve and simple minded compared to him. Granted, Ben didn't spend much time with the children his age either. He preferred spending time by himself, training, meditating, or indulging in his own simple pleasures.

Practicing calligraphy, for example.

His mother had gifted him a calligraphy set once when she came to visit him. It had been a long time since that day but he was still grateful for the small present. It made him feel at least a little loved.

Ben sat in his quarters, skillfully writing across his parchment papers. It was around that time of day that Luke would journey out into the nearby woods to meditate in solitude. He would always be back by dinner, but in-between that time the Padawan's would enjoy the gifts of being young. Ben never joined them and none of them asked if he wanted to hang out with them.

It only bothered him a bit.

Dipping his pen into the ink, he drew delicate lines across the parchment. He enjoyed writing short stories or poems that he thought of off the top of his head. He knew his mother liked poetry and wanted to show her some of his work when she next came to visit.

He didn't bother hoping his father would be with her.

As he dragged his pen on the paper, he felt a sudden change in the Force. He froze in his movements, trying to sense what was amiss. Almost nervously, he felt a small touch against his mind. It left him filled with warmth. Turning toward the door of his quarters, Ben used the Force to turn the door knob and open the door.

On the opposite side stood Rey.

She stared at him wide eyed, surprised that he opened the door. Ben blinked in confusion. He had no idea why she would drop by his quarters. He put his pen down.

"Do you need something Rey?" he asked cautiously. The girl didn't respond. Her eyes drifted around his small room, taking in the space he called his own. It made him slightly uncomfortable.

"Master Luke is out meditating right now you know," he said, "he won't be back for a while. Why aren't you playing with the other kids?" Her gaze landed on him once again. She shifted uncomfortably on her feet. Against his better judgment, Ben probed her mind to understand what it was she needed from him. She was startled by his sudden entry but soon relaxed, relinquishing the information she didn't have the courage to voice. Ben sucked in a small breath when he found what he was looking for. A small feeling emanating from the girl that he himself was all too familiar with.

Loneliness.

"You feel alone?" he asked, making sure his assumption was correct. Several moments passed by before Rey nodded her head in silent confirmation. She allowed him to roam through her mind, whether she meant to or not. He felt the gravity of her despair, being in a place she was unfamiliar with, surrounded by people she knew didn't like her. He could see that Luke was the only person she felt comfortable around, and even that wasn't enough to stop the aching she felt inside. She eventually closed him off from her mind, embarrassed that she allowed him to see so much. They sat in silence for several minutes. Ben could see Rey's cheeks grow red from embarrassment. He didn't know why she felt that way but he pitied her.

"It's okay," he muttered. Rey blinked in surprise. Despite himself, Ben offered a small smile, "I feel it too."

Ben opened the barriers of his mind just enough to allow her entry. She hesitated for a moment before curiosity got the better of her. He felt the warmth of her force signature caress parts of his mind, marveling at the information and experience it held. Ben felt her warm presence creep around, going farther with each passing second. He panicked when she started growing closer to his more private memories of the whispers he hears when everyone else is sleeping. Suddenly he raised his barriers again, startling Rey who gasped.

"I'd prefer it if you didn't see that stuff," he whispered. Rey nodded stiffly. He could feel her regret for exploring parts of his mind he hadn't given her permission to see, but he also sensed her relief that someone understood the burden of feeling alone. Out of nowhere he felt her warmth reaching out to him, caressing his signature with her own.

As if offering him comfort.

"Guess you and I have something in common."

Rey nodded slightly. Ben ran a hand through his hair as Rey silently watched. Feeling a new sense of empathy overcome him, Ben gestured for Rey to come closer. She did so without hesitation, walking up to his desk. She looked down at his parchment papers, lips parting in awe.

"Do you like it?" he questioned. Rey nodded in amazement. A small chuckle escaped Ben's lips. An idea struck him and he carefully ripped of a small strip of paper from the bigger piece. Dipping his pen in ink, Ben began writing. Rey watched wordlessly as he etched each letter onto the paper. It didn't take him long to write what he intended. Blowing gently on the paper to help the Ink dry, Ben pushed the paper towards Rey so she could see what it said. A tiny gasp escaped her lips.

He had written her name. Rey lifted a hand over the desk to the piece of paper. She traced the R of her name with such care, almost as if seeing it for the first time. She looked up at Ben, brown eyes sparkling. Slowly, a smile spread across her lips. Ben had never seen such a grateful smile on the face of a child so young.

He couldn't help but smile back.

* * *

"Hey _Solo_!"

Ben released an agitated sigh. He had retreated to his own special place where he liked to mediate. It was a group of large boulders stacked against each other. They sat just outside the forest, offering a serene view of the wilderness Ben had become accustomed to. It was far enough away from the temple and the other students that nobody could ever bother him. Usually he would be able to come out and enjoy the peaceful energy that nature offered him through the Force.

Usually.

"What do you want?" Ben muttered, glancing over his shoulder to find three Padawan's he particularly didn't like. Ben was the oldest of his Uncle's group of Jedi trainees, but the three approaching him were close behind him in age. The oldest being Emek, a human with an ego the size of Coruscant. The other two, Cyser and Yuna, followed him like a couple of wolves following their master.

Emek never liked Ben, viewing him as an obstacle to overcome in receiving Master Luke's admiration. Ben didn't blame him for thinking that. They were related after all.

"I've got a bone to pick with you," Said Emek, marching up to the rocks Ben sat upon. Ben continued to hold his meditative position. He didn't like Emek, never did, but his father taught him that when faced with someone you don't like you have to be the bigger man.

That was about the only advise his father had given Ben that he chose to listen to.

Despite the growing irritation and the dark thoughts that continued to plague him in his dreams, if Emek wanted to fight, Ben would not be the one to start it. He needed to demonstrate control.

"What did I do this time Emek?" Ben muttered. Emek pointed a finger up at the dark-haired boy.

"You told Master Luke about what we did to R2-D2's electro-shock prod! Now all of us have cleaning duty in the kitchen for the next month," Emek growled. Cyser and Yuna chimed in agreement.

"It was your own fault for breaking Artoo's prod in the first place," said Ben, "You know it damaged Master Luke's right hand when he tried to stop Artoo from shocking people. He has to wait another three days for someone to drop off the right parts to repair it."

"That's not the point Solo! You got us in trouble because you're a goody two-shoes who likes being his uncle's favorite." Ben shot the three a glare.

"I am not a goody two-shoes! It's not my fault that your parents didn't teach you how to be honest."

Emek smirked, "At least my parents were around." He watched Ben flinch at the harshness of his words. How he wished he could rile Ben up enough to get him to fight. Then maybe Master Luke wouldn't favor him so much.

Ben clenched his fists in anger. The impact of his words stung more then he would admit. Emek would often say such things to try and provoke him. In the past it was easier to ignore, but as time passed and the voice grew louder it was harder for him to ignore the desire to really inflict harm on the boy. He knew it would be so easy, he was so powerful after all.

Ben blinked in surprise. He didn't mean to think that. He shouldn't be thinking that way. Pushing the thought away, Ben recovered, hoping to keep the situation under control.

"Emek, I don't want a fight. Let's just forget this whole thing happened and-"

Before Ben knew what was going on, he felt himself being jerked from his position. He went crashing onto the dirt floor in front of the boulders. Before he could recollect himself, Emek kicked him in the side hard. Ben coughed at the impact.

"You used the Force to pull me down," he muttered, pulling his head up to face Emek, "Luke said we aren't allowed to use it on each other."

Emek smirked, kicking Ben again in the ribs, "Your Uncle Luke's not here," he mocked. Cyser and Yuna cheered Emek on off to the side. The two young men wrestled on the ground angrily, Emek trying to harm Ben while Ben defended. And within Ben, another battle was being fought.

 _Make him hurt_ , the voice said sickeningly, _show him what you can do_. Ben battled against his consciousness. His hatred for Emek spread through his body with every word he heard. Oh, how easy it would be for him to listen to it. To really make Emek hurt for treating him like garbage when the opposite was true. He was a force that shouldn't be reckoned with, and Emek should have been smart enough to recognize that. The urge to really harm the boy grew larger and larger-

A rock hit Emek on the shoulder, hard enough to throw him off of Ben. Ben sat up in confusion. The four teenagers looked around, trying to locate the individual who threw the rock at them. There was nobody in sight.

Another rock flew through the air, hitting Cyser right in the face. The young man exclaimed loudly and in pain. He hastily retreated back the way he and his friends came. Yuna followed after him, trying to keep him from running into anything.

"Get back here you wimps!" yelled Emek, "You idiots, he's using the Force!"

Ben shook his head in baffled denial, "No, I'm not."

Emek scoffed, pulling himself to his feet, "Yeah right, like I'm going to believe a word you-" Suddenly, the lightsaber attached to Emek's hip activated. The boy screamed, jumping in surprise, almost causing the blade to touch his leg. He violently pulled the blade from his side and tossed it away. Having had enough surprises, he ran off to find his friends.

Ben watched in silent confusion. He knew he was not the one responsible for throwing the rocks or activating Emek's saber. Ben rose up and picked up the weapon, deactivating it. Using the Force, he probed around the area, hoping to find the one responsible for helping him. He gasped, turning around to where a very recognizable signature was located. He stared at the boulders he had been sitting on for a moment before a tiny head popped out from behind them.

Rey nervously came out from behind the rocks, holding her hands behind her back. Ben watched her in awe. He had yet to see her actually use her Force powers before, though he had heard Luke speak highly of them. Throwing rocks with such accuracy and igniting a lightsaber without seeing it was no small feat.

But Rey wasn't a normal girl. He knew that.

Ben offered her a small smile, "Thank you Rey." The girl smiled, her cheeks heating up. Ben held the saber's handle tightly, "I'm rather impressed. I didn't know you were so gifted in using the Force." Rey clutched her arm. Ben could sense apprehension washing over her. He opened his mouth to ask her what was wrong when she surprised him yet again.

"...I'm…. I'm really not that good at it."

It was the first time she had ever spoken to anyone other than his uncle. Her voice was so small but carried a lot of strength with it. Ben felt overwhelmed by a sense of pride that she had chosen him to speak to. He took into consideration what she had said to him. She had natural talent, he could tell, but she lacked confidence.

Ben took several steps toward her and Rey took no action to move away. Ben knelt down to her height.

"Do you want to get better?" he asked. Rey contemplated what he was saying. She offered him a smile, nodding firmly. Ben couldn't help but return the smile.

"Then you'll need a teacher."

* * *

"Hey Ben?" Rey questioned.

Ben hummed in response, his eyes still closed. He had allowed Rey to accompany him to his favorite mediation spot. He didn't do it often because he knew it made her feel special when he did.

Several months had passed since Rey had protected him from his bullies. Emek and the others were severely punished for harassing Ben and they left him alone for a long time after that. Ben never told them or Luke about Rey's involvement that day in fear of her getting in trouble. He suspected that Luke knew anyway, considering how close the two had grown after that moment.

Ben had made it his own private goal to care for Rey. She was the youngest Padawan Luke had and an outcast much like himself. He wanted her to trust him like Uncle Luke, if not more so. He sat with her during meals and helped her practice her lightsaber training along with using the force. He was proud of how far she had come under his tutelage and hoped she felt the same.

"What is it Rey?" he asked. If there was one thing Rey needed help on it was meditation. The child had trouble sitting still for long periods of time and her mind tended to drift in the middle of their sessions. Ben didn't force her to cooperate. He remembered being her age and finding it hard to focus. He could only hope that he set a good example of how to mediate properly.

"What does attachment mean?"

Ben's eyelids flicked open in surprise. He turned to Rey who looked up at him expectantly.

"You don't know what that word means?" he questioned.

Rey shrugged, "I've heard Master Luke say it several times, but no, I don't."

Ben sighed, rubbing a hand against his neck.

"Attachment, I suppose, is when you care about something a lot." He responded.

"Like compassion? Master Luke says Jedi knights need compassion."

"Not exactly," replied Ben, "Compassion applies to a lot of things. You can have compassion for life and all living things, but attachment is for specific things. One might feel attached to an object from childhood or a place. Most attachments are to people we care about." Ben paused for a moment, "people we love."

"Master Luke said Jedi aren't allowed to have attachments," Rey stated.

"That's correct. Attachments are distractions to Jedi and could lead them down the path of the Dark side." Ben didn't necessarily believe what his uncle had taught him. It seemed rather silly to cut off all attachments in his opinion. If attachments were linked to love then how could something so essential be linked to the Dark side of the Force? He never told his uncle his beliefs, because he knew he would berate him, tell him to cast away those thoughts. Instead he kept them to himself, hiding them along with the voice.

Rey nodded, seemingly understanding what it was Ben was trying to explain. She said nothing else, so Ben once again closed his eyes, searching for the inner peace he needed for meditation.

"Are you attached to me?"

The question felt like a physical punch to the stomach. Ben's eyes flew open. He turned to Rey with a look of shock and bewilderment, "Why would you ask that?"

Rey wrung her small fingers together, staring off towards the horizon. Ben felt apprehension within her. Realizing that he was probing her, Rey quickly brought up her barriers much to Ben's frustration. She finally decided to be honest with him.

"I overheard Master Luke, speaking to a woman on his hologram projector." She looked up at him anxiously, "I think it was your mom."

Ben's breath caught in his throat. He hadn't heard from his mother since Rey first arrived. Anger began to creep into his mind. Luke had been communicating with her this whole time, not once telling him.

Rey must have sensed his distress and placed a hand on his knee. The innocent action caused Ben to flinch before relaxing. Her presence always seemed to draw him away from his dark thoughts, that were growing steadily worse.

In the past he would have simply brushed away the new information regarding his parent, however the voice from within his mind had grown increasingly in the last months. Ben continued to resist, however that didn't stop him from listening, and on some occasions, agreeing with it.

It was normally Rey who sensed his conflict and pulled him away from those dark places. He was very grateful for her help, but also very frightened. She should not have that kind of power over him, but she did. That, according to Uncle Luke, could not be encouraged. Ben recalled what Rey had previously asked him.

"What exactly," he paused, "What exactly did you hear him say to…. To my mother?"

"He said, "it's not healthy, your attachment to me. He said that we are close. Too close for people our age to be, and not in a good way. She told him he was being ridiculous, I think that's the word she used, but he kept insisting that it would only get worse." She turned her face up to his. Her brown eyes were filled with worry, not for herself but for him, "that our bond will only grow stronger."

Ben contemplated what it was she was telling him. He covered his mouth with his hand, trying to hide his utter disbelief from the girl he had grown so close to.

Their bond. That is what Luke called it, and it was appropriate to call it that. From the very first moment he met her he knew she was unique. They had travelled through each other's minds without hesitation or consideration of the consequences, and it didn't _bother_ them in the slightest. And that was bad.

Then why did it feel so good?

Ben was starting to understand what his Uncle had meant. Him and Rey had a connection that was beyond anything he understood. They related to each other on a level that nobody could imagine. He had never met anyone like her. His parents hadn't been there for him and his Uncle hadn't either. None of the other children wanted anything to do with him. Rey had been the only one who cared about him, and he was the only one who cared about her. He was special to her as she was to him. He didn't want to lose the connection the two of them had made in their time together.

He didn't want to lose the only person who loved him.

"Ben?" Rey called out, scared of his long silence. Ben turned to her, not sure what to tell her. Whether he cared for her in the way Uncle Luke had implied was unimportant to him. The truth was he did care for her, and that was dangerous. _He_ was dangerous. The whispers in his head told him to ignore his Uncle's teachings. Rey was the only thing that mattered.

Nothing else did.

Nobody else did.

 _Just her._

"Ben?" Rey called when Ben shot up from his seat suddenly. He jumped off the boulders with ease. Without responding, Ben strode off in the direction of the Padawan's quarters. He ignored Rey's calls for him to stop or to come back. He continued on his way until he reached his room. He slammed the door shut and locked it forcefully. Collapsing on his bed, Ben let out a heavy sigh. The air in the room felt heavy with dread and despair.

He couldn't let this happen. He couldn't continue to allow himself to grow attached to Rey. She had to be safe from him and the darkness slowly consuming him. He would distance himself from her like he did back then. She would learn to live without him. She would have to.

For her sake. And for his.

Ben felt the gentle warmth of Rey's mind against his. She was trying to find the reason for his sudden departure. Trying to understand what she did that caused him to leave her. With a heavy heart and determined mind, Ben shoved her consciousness away from his, pulling his barriers tightly around him. He felt her probe for another few minutes, each time he would forcefully push her presence away. Eventually, the warmth disappeared and he was left alone once again. He told himself it was better this way.

He didn't believe it though.

* * *

He hadn't spoken to her in weeks.

Ben continued to ignore the child who had become his only friend. She was rather stubborn in trying to understand why. She followed him around, demanding some form of explanation, trying to figure out what she did wrong.

He would watch her try to adjust to losing her only friend. She tried playing with the other Padawan's, but the others wanted nothing to do with her. Much like him they were jealous of the attention she received for being so strong with the Force. Ben longed to comfort her when he felt her warmth diminish after every rejection, but he swore to stay strong. He couldn't let his attachment grow any more than it already had. The problem was that the more he saw her in destress the stronger the pull was to be close to her.

He was fighting a losing battle.

He had turned in early that night, hoping to get some much-needed sleep. In an attempt to forget about Rey, Ben had thrown himself into his training, spending hours upon hours a day perfecting his skill. He skipped meditation, break time, and even meals, all in hopes of distracting himself from the desire to be close to Rey.

He grumbled into his pillow. Ignoring her was so much harder than he had anticipated. There were only twelve of them on the planet not including Uncle Luke. They were both training under him so of course he had to see her on a daily basis. He wished he had never gone to see what was on that ship that fateful morning.

 _No_ , he thought to himself, _No I wouldn't wish that_ , as painful as it was to try and ignore the bond that had formed between them, he wouldn't trade it for anything. For the first time in a long time he had felt like someone actually cared about him. Despite the circumstances, he couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose that experience.

Suddenly, a sharp pain rammed against Ben's mind. Crying out in pain he clutched his skull, waiting for the pain to subside. He squirmed and wriggled on his bed, trying to figure out where the shock came from.

Another sharp pain overtook him, causing him to cry out louder. Ben stumbled from his bed, collapsing on the floor. The attack against his mind raged for several minutes. Ben could hardly focus on the tears that were streaming down his face. It was unbearable was what Ben imagined a lightsaber injury to be like. Sudden and agonizing.

And then it stopped.

Ben panted heavily, trying to steady his panicked heart. Letting go of his head he looked around his room, reaching out through the Force to discern what had caused him such great discomfort. It was then that he found it, or rather couldn't find it. That tiny presence that had comforted him all those long months, the sense of warmth that gave him the strength to push forward. The very thing he had spent weeks trying to fight.

"R-Rey," he choked out.

He shot up from the floor, drawing his lightsaber to his belt buckle he ran from his quarters towards the temple. The sun had already set, red and orange colors still decorating the sky but quickly fading. He saw a small group of Padawan's playing by the entrance of the temple. Ben ran up to them, skidding to a halt.

"Have any of you seen Rey," he asked. They eyed him curiously. Ben had never bothered speaking to them and the last thing they expected of him was to ask where the youngest Padawan was. The oldest in the group choose to answer his question.

"She went out to your meditation spot earlier today. We haven't seen her since then." Ben nodded in acknowledgment and gratitude before running towards the woods.

When he arrived, there was no sign of Rey. He spun around several times, trying to figure out where she disappeared to.

"Rey!" he called out. He received no response, "REY!" he shouted. Ben ran a hand through his hair, fear quickly taking over his sends. Nobody had seen Rey in possibly hours and the only lead he had was inconclusive. His heart began to speed up. Dread plagued his mind at the thought of something terrible happening to the only person who still showed him any semblance of love.

Taking a deep breath, ben calmed his trembling heart. After a moment of still meditation, Ben reached out with the Force. If he was going to find her, the Force was his only hope. He reached out all around him, feeling every bit of life in the vicinity, but even that wasn't enough. Concentrating even harder, he stretched his mind to its limits. He could feel everything at once and it was overwhelming, but that didn't matter. He had to find Rey.

And he did. At the edge of his mind he could feel her presence. Fear gripped his heart when he sensed another with her, one he didn't recognize, but it was massive and oozing with dark intentions. He turned swiftly toward the forest where he felt her force signature. Without a second's hesitation he sprinted into the woods.

"REY!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. Branches and rocks cut at his arms and legs as he ran but the pain was of little consequence to him. The farther he ran the stronger the signatures became. This fueled his body to move beyond his limits.

He could see a clearing just ahead of him. Ben's eyes widened at what lay there.

A creature he was unfamiliar with walked patiently in a circle. It was as big as a dewback from what Ben could tell. It was grey with a narrow face, teeth protruding from the sides of its mouth. It's hide looked thick and covered with coarse hair. In front of it lay the still form of the child Ben was looking. Ben's heart nearly stopped beating.

 _Rey_

Letting out an angry yell, Ben jumped into the clearing, startling the creature into backing away from its victim. It let out a monstrous shriek but did nothing else. Ben ran to Rey's side, collapsing next to her.

"Rey! Rey wake up! Speak to me Rey!" he begged. He pulled the girl into his arms. She was covered in several scratches, with a rather bloody cut on her neck. Ben's lip trembled at the sight of her. He felt her signature through the Force, weak but still present.

It didn't feel warm like it always did. It felt cold.

That thought alone made Ben livid.

Ben's panting grew heavier, not from weariness but from rage. His grip on Rey's body tightened. How _dare_ that monster harm her. She was a _child_! She didn't do anything to deserve this. Ben felt darkness creep into his mind and for once he let it. It made him feel stronger. He needed every once of strength he could get to make that _thing_ pay.

Releasing Rey's body, Ben rose to his feet. He unclipped his lightsaber from his belt. The creature roared at him but it didn't faze him. Igniting the blue blade, Ben stumbled towards the monster that touched his Rey. The little voice that had been in his head for years grew louder, shouting at him to do one thing.

 _Kill it!_

And he did, oh he did. He stabbed, sliced, cut, over and over again. With each swing of his lightsaber Ben felt the darkness pulling him further and further into its welcoming embrace and he didn't try to stop it. He welcomed it. If it gave him the power he needed to make that creature pay then he would gladly take it. The beast howled in pain, wriggling in pure agony but Ben didn't hear it. Lightsaber wounds weren't supposed to leave blood, but with each new cut that he inflicted blood decorated his tunic and hands. He kept cutting and cutting long after the beast stopped moving. He didn't care.

He had to make it pay.

A sudden sense of warmth caressed his mind and Ben froze in his movements. The darkness in his mind slowly dissipated and was replaced with light and comfort. Slowly, Ben turned around to see little Rey. Her eyes were filling with tears. It became apparent to ben that she probably saw his rage induced slaughter of the animal that harmed her.

His hands began to tremble. He deactivated his lightsaber before it tumbled out of his hands into the grass. His lower lip quivered and his eyes widened at the sight of Rey's face. There was no hatred in her features for the actions horrendous action he had committed, there was no fear that he would unleash his rage upon her, there was only one emotion Ben could describe that perfectly reflected the look Rey gave him after he abandoned his Jedi principles and ran into the night to save her life.

Love. She held love in her eyes.

Ben heard a small, water gasp. It surprised him to realize that it had come from him. Another sob tumbled from his mouth, followed by another and another. Tear poured down his pale cheeks as he collapsed beside Rey, pulling the girl against him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, placing her head in the crook of his neck. He clutched her tighter, being mindful of the cuts that covered her body. The two sat there, crying into each other. Nothing else mattered. Not Luke, not the Padawan's, not the code they had promised to adhere to when deciding to become Jedi.

"R-Rey," Ben muttered, stroking the girl's brown hair. He felt her shift her head against his neck.

"Yes Ben?" she whispered. Ben sucked in a watery breath.

"This," he choked out pausing, "…This is what attachment is. This is what it feels like."

Rey nodded, probing his mind to get a better understanding of what he meant. She could feel the heartache he had endured trying to avoid her. It caused her own heart to reach out to him in an effort to repair the damage. Ben in turn did the same, bathing her in whatever warmth he could to help her feel what he felt in her presence. The two soon felt their bodies relax. What had been broken was now mended.

Rey pulled away from Ben resting her forehead against his. What she felt in her heart, what he felt in his, it scared him. He feared for the future and what it held for them. It would never be easy, feeling the way, they did for each other, but he never wanted to let it go. Uncle Luke would never approve but Ben could care less. He would never let it go and he knew she wouldn't either. They were two sides of the same coin, incomplete without the other, and he would do whatever it took to keep them together.

Ben could sense the same concern within Rey. She knew what they had was dangerous but also special. He felt her fear of abandonment and loneliness inch its way into her mind. Ben offered her a tiny smile, pushing away the darkness in her mind and replacing it with the feeling he received when they were together; warmth. In a soft voice he muttered the words he wished he had said the day they met.

"You're not alone."

Rey brought her gaze up to Ben's eyes. She offered him the same kind smile, and muttered the words _he_ had been waiting for his whole life.

"Neither are you."

 **There you have it, my little slice of ReyLo or whatever. I might make more depending on how well it is recieved, or not, i don't care, it's fanfiction. Hope you all liked it at least a little bit. Spread the love! Have a wonderful 2018!**


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